Past Thoughts in The Mist Series
by Starfire
Summary: Some Sohmas are not getting enough sleep in the night is it insomia? YXT Fic.
1. Past Thoughts

**Disclaimer:** Fruit Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki, any theories that are written are own by me. However, don't sue me for it, I am just a poor student that seems to suffer from insomnia so that is why I am writing tons of fan fiction. Okay enough of my ranting, on to the story. 

**Thoughts of a Mouse   
By Starfire**

_It hurts the endless loneliness that abates my world, the continuous suffering from being far away from others. What is the point of living in this eternal darkness, with a leader that enjoys suffering of those that are under his rule, because he himself was damned to die, that we all put up with him._ A bell chimes in the room, the young boy stood up looking out of the window, clothed in garments of white and gray, it rustle on the floor of wood. 

It doesn't make any sense as to why, this cruel curse, that I should be born into this wealth of cycle to be born and reborn as a mouse. I don't exactly understand, the purpose of this endless cycle, 12 animals 13 if you count the one that wasn't allow, periodically cycled around, simply because of a old crime in the past. 14 souls that are continuously cycled around in these bodies, with weaken agility to suffer through decades of pain, and horror. Until…Until the one soul forgives them and releases them from this sodden curse, until the one that was killed by the leader, comes to help guide us to the light. Pressing his hand on the wooden wall, he looked up the moon that caste shadows behind him, shifting more, he walked toward the door, his foot padded softly, until he push open the door to the corridor. 

_However, the curse still runs, I am uncertain, when the pain would ease off, I am uncertain, if we would ever meet the one that would forgive us for the sins of our past life. Crossing he stopped in front of a door, his hand trembles as he pressed the door open walking in softly. His amethyst eyes peered onto the sleeping figure, her hair streamed around her, the soft pale pink of her pajama's lay around her, while the blankets were strewed this way and that. Are you the one Hondo-san? Are you the one that our leader killed? Are you the soul of the monk that had passed away in cold-blooded death? _

Sitting down on the bed trying not to shift it so that she would awaken, he leans over caressing the hair on the bed sheets. _Are you the one that was so kind enough to say 'Bless you' to the man that killed you? It sounds like you, it really does._ His hands tremble slightly, _just like in the past, it so sounds like you, when I was there my past self. _

Fighting the shivers that ran through his body,_ I loved you then, I still do now Honda-san, if only I hadn't betrayed you that you would run away to join the monastery, due to the love that I rejected from you._ His eyes soften, while looking at her, tears slowly well up in his eyes blurring them. _I was a female back then, you were the man I loved, ironic that we are now reverse, you the female, and I the male._ His lips twitches,_ if Kyou could hear it, he would tease me saying I still look female. _

Leaning more closer he pressed his lips to a piece of her hair, _To many what ifs still run through my mind, it is amazing that I almost missed you, though I did notice you in class, but I was too egotistical in my own suffering to notice you._ One tear after another descended down his cheek, _You still were there, by my side, even though I notice, I remember, would you forgive me, my love? Your so kind like you were back then, always forgiving, always my light. I went to your home to talk to you, and end up walking in to see your blood spewed around you._

Leaning back, pressing his hand against his chest, the beating of his heart thumped with pain,_ I wanted to tell you why, I wanted you to know why it had happen, I wanted you to say you forgive me for my sins. _Closing his eyes, unable to bear it any longer, _It hurts, the pain, is this what you felt? _

_I now know, but I still feel unworthy of you, the light that you bring into my life, the gift of your smile, your laughter._ His hand convulses slightly, bringing his hand out almost in a phantom caress on the young girls cheek, _I am thankful, that your next to me now, I want you to be by my side forever, they don't remember, the other's, but I do. I remember, so does Akito, he remembers, yet, he doesn't understand. Just who you are, but I know you, I know that soul that makes you, who you are. _

Drawing his hands back, he slowly stood up, "Yuki…" Freezing slightly, his eyes turn to look at the girl that lay in bed. "Yuki…" Her soft voice mumbles softly in her sleep, while she shifted slightly, her hand reaching in his direction. 

Yuki smile softly, "Shhh…I am here…" He whispered taking her hand into his gently, placing a whisper of a kiss on it gently. "Sleep now…" 

Toharu shifted her hand twitch, then fell limply by her side, she slept on in her dreams, her lips curved upward in a sigh. 

Even now, she knows me. Yuki muses slightly, as he padded toward the door taking one lingering glance, he slide the door close behind him._ Yuki is snow, I was called snow back then._ He muses, _I was also the boy that met her back then, the one to help her, to find her, and now, we are here once again together._ Fisting his hand slightly, _I won't make the same mistake again. Second chances are hard to come by, I won't do what I did back then, and hurt her. Redemption is a very hard to come by, maybe I envy her light, but as long as she is by my side, everything will be okay in the end. _


	2. Midnight Thoughts

Disclaimer: Fruit Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki, any theories that are written are own by me. However, don't sue me for it, I am just a poor student that seems to suffer from insomnia so that is why I am writing tons of fan fiction. Okay enough of my ranting, on to the story.  
  
Midnight Thoughts  
  
By Starfire  
  
I hate her, I hate her so much. If she didn't do this then they wouldn't be against me, they wouldn't turn away from me, after what I did for them, how could they? The thoughts streams through the dark hair man as he stared out his window at the moon. Another sleepless night stream through him, while his body racketed with coughs.  
  
Vengeful thoughts pattered across him, while he sat in a foul mood. It's her fault that I am this sick, it is her stupid fault, even back then, if she wasn't such a goodie person, damn her for being so good that the gods love her, even though she was a stupid monk.  
  
Tugging on the blanket more around him, the illness hasn't fade from him, it never has, it kept at him tormenting him night, and day. It was his curse his punishment in angering the gods by killing. Why was that stupid monk so important anyways? All he ever did was go to the temple saying Thank you so much. Scoffing, Why did they love him more? Why did they love him so much? Why did they hate me for killing those doves? His eyes shifted until they sat on the birdcage, where the doves coo in their sleep. Isn't it bad enough that I keep them near me now? Isn't that enough to help satisfy them that I am near them. After all I am human they are just stupid birds why would they care?  
  
Clenching his fingers, he swerves a bit, until he sat down on the bench next to the window. How was I supposed to know that they were sacred? His lip curves at the thoughts of the bloody dove in his hand. Picturing that it was Honda Tohru's neck between his nimble fingers, while he squeeze the life out of her. The blood would flow, just like it did from that monk, flow like rivers so pretty, so wonderful, but that is why they cursed him. Why would they care for such a no body?  
  
Jealousy crawled inside his heart, while he pushes back his hair, coughing slightly, Stupid monk, it is because of him that I am stuck in this situation, destine to die after suffering from these bouts of pain. His fingers convulse, when he keels over coughing more. I wonder if he is around now.Laughing at my pain, even when he said those words "Bless you" that's a laugh, why would he want to bless me when I killed him.  
  
His eyes slowly moved a bit to a ribbon that lay next to the cage, He is like that girl, Honda Tohru, just like her, who does that girl think she is, telling me stuff. Telling me that I am alive, but. Slowly leaning forward, his hair fell over his eyes blocking him of his view. I don't understand, just like I didn't understand when my past self slaughtered that monk whom said "Bless you." I don't understand why he did that; I don't understand this Honda Tohru, when she said she would miss me too, when I am gone.  
  
Coughs racket his body, while he reached for a remote pressing a red button on it. I just don't understand at all.  
  
A knock came at his door. "Akito-san?" Hatori's masculine voice came through the door.  
  
"Come in." Akito coughs violently, "The cold has been getting more worse." He wheezed, when the man stood before him, his black doctor bag with him.  
  
"I've noticed." Hatori took out some items checked Akito's pulse. "You should be sleeping, instead of being awake, it would hurt your health more."  
  
Akito laugh in a wheezing voice, "Doesn't matter, I would be dying soon anyways, it is not like I would be missed."  
  
"We would miss you." Hatori whispered, while absently checking other things, then injecting the man with a sleeping agent to help him sleep. "But for now I recommend sleep."  
  
Drowsily Akito lay on his bed, his eyes closing slowly. "I don't understand you, I really don't understand.Honda..Tohru.." He mumbles softly, "Let me understand." 


End file.
